Monday, October 6, 2008

Week 9 Update

Interesting Facts:

Your baby is busy growing. Her face looks more baby-like each day—her eyes are developed but concealed, and her nose, lips, and ears are becoming more defined. She's also starting to exercise her expanding muscles. Her fingers and toes are looking less like stubs. Although she's a wiggler—and you could see that on an ultrasound—she's still so small that you won't feel these movements. Her reproductive organs are developing, but even if you sneaked a peek you wouldn't be able to tell that she's a she (and neither could your doctor at this point).

How Big Is Baby?

Your growing baby is about as big as a quarter this week.

How We Feel:

I can't believe another week has gone by. I am starting to realize how much I'm already falling in love with the baby. I have hopes and dreams for her and when I think about the future, the baby has become a big part of that. I feel like when Stacy and Mat called and said they were pregnant and they wanted us to adopt the baby, it was like finding out I myself was pregnant and so as we go along this journey I can't help but feel the way I do.

Stacy has been having a hard time dealing with everything and she doesn't know what she wants to do anymore. Though in my mind I knew this was a likely possibility, I guess my heart hoped she would still be as sure as she was the day she called and told me about the pregnancy. I understand her conflict, I already love the baby myself and it isn't even growing inside me.

I'm not sure how to proceed from here. All I want for this baby is for it to be loved and cared for and if it's by Dustin and I then that's amazing for us, and if Stacy decides to keep the baby that's great for her but leaves us devastated. How do I look at an ultrasound of the baby and not fall in love with it, how do I spend each day dreaming about our lives together when I now there is a probability that Stacy will keep the baby? I don't know how to go forward without getting so emotionally involved with a baby that might not end up my child.

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