Week 20 Update

Interesting Facts!

By week 20, your baby-to-be is gearing up for the next phase in his development. His organs are getting into their proper places. His kidneys are now in position with their familiar bean shape. His testes have reached their position. His brain continues to form and grow. His teeth are beginning to appear, and he can swallow. If you haven't been able to feel him move, chances are you'll be feeling him move more and more over the coming weeks.

How Big Is Baby?

At the ultrasound yesterday the tech said baby is 15 cm long from crown to rump and What to Expect said he is about the size of a small cantaloupe. Baby's heartbeat is 147 bpm, which has gone down considerably since the first ultrasound.

How We Feel:

We've had a few milestones around here this past week: We had our 20 week ultrasound and we're very proud to say we're having a boy!! - and there was no denying it - he was even playing with his junk in the ultrasound. Dustin of course had to point out that it's a genetic thing that is ingrained in men's brains from birth so the ladies should get off their backs about it because you can't fight genetics. We are beyond excited and have been walking around on clouds for the last couple of days. Finding out we're having a boy has truly been the best Christmas gift I have ever had.

It was great having everyone at this ultrasound, including my Mum who I think was overwhelmed at seeing baby and being there to find out the sex. I'm also glad Mat and Dustin were able to make it, it really isn't the same looking at a picture vs seeing the baby moving around on the screen and I'm glad everyone got to experience it first hand.

Our second milestone is that Stacy also felt fluttering for the first time this week and she said it was pretty neat. I can't wait for the baby to start kicking so I can feel him too. Hopefully I won't annoy Stacy too much always wanting to feel her belly once it starts.

We are now in name negotiations - hee hee, everyone seems to like different names, but we've narrowed it down to two (for now): Dexter and Oliver and I think it's pretty much split down the middle as to who likes which. We of course won't make any final decisions until we see baby but so far those two are the main contenders.

Happy Christmas Everyone!

♥

Week 18 Update

Interesting Facts!

At week 18, your baby-to-be's senses are maturing. She's able to hear sounds within her own comfortable environment, such as the sound of mum's heart beating, as well as external sounds, such as your voice. She may become more active for certain sounds, and you'll feel her movements. At this point in her development she's still small enough that she has plenty of room to wiggle.

How Big Is Baby?

Your little one is about five ounces and five to six inches long (crown to rump).

How we feel:

I'm sure I've repeated myself over and over on the weekly updates but mostly we're dying of excitement for the next ultrasound - two weeks today. I'm crossing my fingers that A) Dustin will be home to come this time and B) We'll be able to find out the sex of the baby.

I've compiled a list of all the things we need for baby and I'm slowly collecting everything on the list. We've ordered some of the bigger items and they should arrive in the next couple of months; though I'm not sure where we will be putting them as Stacy is still staying in babies room until the end of February. It's going to start getting a little bit squishy in our little house as baby stuff starts arriving.

I've been thinking I might start updating every couple of weeks unless something major happens that I feel compelled to share - I'm beginning to feel like I'm repeating myself every week.

♥

Week 17 Update!

Interesting Facts!

Around this time your baby's ears pop from her head and Baby-to-be can now sense sounds. After all, she has plenty to listen to in utero! She's accustomed to the strong beating of your heart, blood rushing through your veins, and your stomach grumbling. She can also discern sounds outside the uterus, like voices and music.

How Big Is Baby?

This week your little one weighs in at around five ounces and stretches to just over five inches (crown to rump).

How we feel:

Oh my goodness, we're almost half way there; and the next ultrasound is only 3 weeks away today! I can't wait to see sweat pea again, and hear her heartbeat. I really hope Dustin will be home for this one because I think he will be amazed by the whole thing. It's one thing to see her on paper it's entirely another to see her flipping around in Stacy's tummy.

I'm such a dorky mum-to-be. We aren't even half way through the pregnancy and I've already built a small library for the baby; I can't help myself, I just can't wait to tell the baby a million stories and hopefully share our love of reading and learning with her.

♥

Week 16 update

Interesting Fact!

By week 16, your baby-to-be's body is doing more to support itself. Her kidneys function and produce urine that then passes through the umbilical cord. Within her stomach, bile is secreted, although she relies on you for all of her nutrients. Her appearance changes as her scalp hair grows and may even have color. Her developing facial muscles make it possible for her to open and close her mouth, maybe even give you a smile or two.

How Big Is Baby?

This week, your little one is around four inches long (crown to rump) and weighs in at nearly three ounces.

How We Feel:

Another week gone, sweet pea is going to be here before we know it. I can't believe our next ultrasound is in 4 weeks, and that Stacy will be half way through the pregnancy by then. So much has changed in the last 11 weeks or so. I never would have imagined we'd be getting prepared for a baby to arrive, nor did I ever expect that Stacy would end up living with us.

It's been really great getting to know Stacy; before coming to live with us I always knew her as my brothers girlfriend but now I see her as a friend. We've had some great times over the last month, and I think we've baked and laughed our way to a life long friendship. I think Dustin is still trying to get used to all the giggling and craft-making that's been going on but it's good practice for things to come because we're all positive sweet pea is a girl.

I think that's it for this week.

♥

Week 15 Update

Interesting Fact!

At week 15, your baby-to-be stretches her limbs and bends at her elbows. She's getting big enough that you can feel many of these movements. Her bones are continuing to grow and lengthen. While she looks more like a baby, her skin is still thin and translucent with her veins visible. Your baby is also beginning to grow lanugo, a very fine hair. It will keep growing until around the 26th gestational week of pregnancy (that's week 28 of the pregnancy).

How Big Is Baby?

This week baby is roughly the size of a naval orange.

How We Feel:

I can't believe how fast time is going by, it seems like I post a weekly update and before I know it, it's time for another one. As we've started telling more people about the adoption I find there are people who are genuinely happy for us, people who are worried, and people who don't like the idea at all.

Most people are a combination of very happy but also quite nervous about how everything will turn out. It is a difficult situation, Stacy could change her mind at any time, and believe me, we are aware of that. Dustin and I have come to the conclusion that we will regret it if we don't jump in feet first and enjoy the whole process. Sure, we could be reserved, stand-offish, not hope and dream for the baby; but if we're the ones holding sweet pea in our arms after she is born we will have missed out on all of this amazing pregnancy time, all the time you spend looking into the future and imagining all the possibilities for your baby. We know it will hurt more in the end if Stacy keeps the baby, but sometimes those are the life risks we all need to take.

As Christmas approaches, I'm finding myself getting nostalgic for my childhood Christmas memories steeped in family tradition. Out shopping last weekend I picked up this beautiful plate and mug set for putting cookies and milk out for Santa, and standing in the store I was holding back the tears as I imagined telling sweet pea all about Santa, and getting out the plate and mug to start our own family traditions. (getting a little teary eyed again just writing it down). These are the moments worth living for, being a Mum is all I've ever wanted, and even though I'm not pregnant, I am expecting a child, and I am not going to deny myself these moments of joy even though it might make it harder in the end.

♥

People read my blog?

I've been coasting along for the last few months, blogging at least once a week to keep track of all the ups and downs of this unexpected journey, I've shared the link to our blog with a few close friends and family members so that they too can be updated on our progress but I never imagined that anyone else was reading my blog until today.

I received my first ever blogging award from Kristen at Snips Snails and Pigtails. So first off, thanks Kristen, and welcome! Secondly I need to nominate 7 other bloggers for this award. I will do that at some point today, I have a list of adoption blogs I read and I'll have to compile a little linky list, and send them a comment when I get a free moment.

♥

Operation "Get Prepared" Commencing

The list of things we need to get prepared for Sweet Pea grows every time I begin to think of anything baby related. We of course have picked out the crib set, and I believe we're going to order it sometime in the new year, giving us plenty of time for delivery and set up.

I've started purchasing baby bottles. I've decided to go with Avent bottles because they are BPA free and apparently prevent colic; a few of my friends have recommended them so they must be alright. I'm going to get 4 in each size, a bottle heater (to avoid microwave use) and a bottle sterilizer for convenience.

I think I've decided on a diaper bag, from Ju Ju Be and though it's slightly pricey it looks durable and even slightly fashionable. I also took Dustin into consideration when deciding which one to go with, and I'm pretty sure he won't be embarrassed to walk around with this bag. At least it's not pink and flowery Daddy!

Today I finally decided on and purchased a wrap for carrying sweet pea around in. Funnily enough it's actually National Babywearing Week and I finally found a wrap I like from Sleepy Wrap. It's like the baby wearing planets were aligned just for me. A few of my friends have wraps and they love the freedom they give you, not to mention the benefits to baby.

I'm sure the list will go on and on as we get closer to babies due date. I'll keep you all posted on some of my fun finds!

♥

Week 14 Update

Interesting Facts!

At 14 weeks your baby is a regular wiggler, but because of her small size you probably won't feel it yet. Your baby-to-be's face is becoming more distinguishable as her eyes move closer together and her ears move closer to their final positions. She's also growing soft baby hair all over her body, which is thought to help anchor developing skin, as well as forming hair on her eyebrows and scalp. She may hiccup too, even though her lungs are filled with fluid, not air.

How Big Is Baby?

Your little one is currently between 3.2 to 4.5 inches (from crown to rump) and weighs in at around .9 ounces. She is about the size of a closed fist.

How We Feel:

Our next ultrasound appointment is on December 20th, and I can't wait. What a wonderful Christmas present it will be if the baby decides to let us find out what sex she is. Stacy will be just about 20 weeks along at that point so here's to hoping! Hopefully we've given enough notice so Mathew can make it to this appointment, and maybe if we're lucky Dustin will be home for Christmas break and he'll be able to attend also.

The Obstetrician appointment was a long wait but we got to hear sweet pea's heartbeat again which is always fun to hear; it was still high, 168 bpm. The doctor seemed nice and Stacy felt comfortable with her, which is most important. We have to remember to inquire about pre-natal classes as they apparently book up quickly. Stacy and I are going to go to them together so we can both learn everything we can about labour, delivery, and taking care of baby once home....I'm sure there is a lot to learn!

♥

Week 13 Update

Interesting Facts!
Week 13 marks a milestone for your baby-to-be. Developmentally speaking she's no longer an embryo, but a fetus. She's looking—and acting—more and more like a baby every day. She appears to be resting because her eyelids have formed and are fused together, but her arms and legs move and twitch (although you probably can't feel it … yet). She can suck her thumb, too.

How Big Is Baby?
Your baby is about the size of a lime! She's growing heavier at around .5 to .7 ounces and is getting longer at about three inches long (crown to rump).

How We Feel:
We're officially in to the second trimester - I'm amazed at how fast time is going by. My food bill is going to go up because Stacy is going to start feeling hungry all the time, but I don't mind one bit...in fact I was bugging her yesterday because I opened the fridge and was shocked to see we were almost out of milk, even though I had just bought 4 L a couple of days ago.

The other day Stacy was all excited and said "oh ya feel this" and so I did, and sure enough she's starting to get a little hard bump where the baby is growing. It was really amazing. I'm thinking sooner than later, we're going to have to get to a maternity store to stock up on some clothes that are more comfortable for her during the remainder of the pregnancy.

We have our first appointment with the obstetrician this week so that's kind of exciting, hopefully at that point we'll get the paperwork to book the 18 week ultrasound which will be coming up in the second week of December. It's so amazing that Stacy has invited me along to be part of the pregnancy from the very beginning; It's definitely a gift to get to experience everything from the start and not miss out on all the wonderful milestones along the way. For that I am truly grateful.

Oh and I think I've found the perfect crib set, I'm just waiting for Dustin to come home to make sure he likes it to and then I'm going to go ahead and get it. I think it's nice and neutral, it will go with any theme we pick for the nursery and the crib even turns in to a head and foot board for a double bed once we don't need a crib anymore.

♥

12 Week Update

Interesting Fact!

The end of the first trimester marks an important step for your baby-to-be. All of her major body systems are in place. In her digestive system, her small intestine is no longer entwined with the umbilical cord, but instead is tucked neatly within the abdomen. Her nervous system continues to develop, and her brain's structure is fully formed. Many of her organs are starting to work on their own, too. For instance, her thyroid begins to secrete hormones. Next week she'll no longer be considered an embryo, but instead graduates into a fetus. She's already looking more and more like the baby you're probably imagining—she even has tiny fingernails.

How Big Is Baby?

At 12 weeks, your baby weighs in around 1.5 ounces and measures about three inches in length (from crown to rump).

How We Feel

A lot has changed in the last week, the ultrasound just made the baby that much more real to us and, we are at the end of the first trimester, which is a relief. It's time for us to really start preparing for baby, with so much to do and time flying as fast as it does I don't want to find myself rushing right at the end. Our What to Expect in the First Year book has a great list of essentials we need to be ready to bring baby home so slowly but surely we will start checking off the list.

Stacy and I have been talking about painting the nursery and we have some really good ideas for a cute nursery that will grow in to a great toddler bedroom as well. We are excited to get started on that project, though we'll probably wait until the new year.

One major thing has happened this week and that is that Stacy has come to stay with us for a while which is kind of neat because we've had a chance to have some great conversations about our expectations of each other once the baby is born, and it's just been nice to get to know each other better. I'm not sure at this point how long she will be staying with us, but she's more than welcome for as long as she'd like to stay.

That's it for this week.

♥

Our First Baby Picture!

Presenting Little Sweet Pea

I like to think she was waving at us. For a while there she was really active, bumping around and waving her arms, but then she chilled out for a while and just let us gaze at her.

The ultrasound technician asked us if we'd heard the babies heartbeat yet and when we said no she turned on the speakers and the babies heartbeat was so amazing. I held it together fairly well until I heard the little thump thump of her heart and that's when my eyes started leaking a bit. Her little heart was beating at 165 beats per minute, which is another indication that we're having a girl.

The technician was great she printed out pictures for both sets of parents and we were on our way. Unfortunately due to some misunderstandings Mathew didn't make it to the ultrasound, and that was upsetting to everyone because I know he wanted to be there, but we have another scan in 6 weeks and we will hopefully all be there for that one...maybe even Dustin!

♥

Week 11 Update

Interesting Fact!

Your baby-to-be's body still may look a little strange. At this point in development the head makes up nearly half of his body size. Don't worry, in the next few weeks the rest of his body will catch up. Right now, part of your baby's small intestine coils around the umbilical cord outside his body—this will change soon, too.

How Big Is Baby?

Your baby weighs in at about three-tenths of an ounce this week, and his length is just under two and one-half inches (crown to rump).

How We Feel:

We are very excited that we are going to the first ultrasound appointment this weekend. I'm really hoping that Dustin will make it back into town in time to see the baby. If not, I guess pictures will have to do. We've all been making jokes that Stacy is having a whole litter because she's already popped and has a baby belly...I guess we'll find out if it's true.

I picked the baby up her first book the other day - Love you Forever by Robert Munsch. Dustin and I love to read and hopefully we can pass that love along to the baby. I've been looking in to a bunch of adoption books for kids that I would like to order off of amazon or chapters. I think it will be a great way to introduce the idea of adoption to the baby from a young age.

♥

Week 10 Update

Interesting Facts:

Week 10 marks a milestone for your baby-to-be. This first part of fetal development is all about organization. All your baby-to-be's cells have been directed to their places—brain tissue is growing rapidly, muscles are forming, fingers and toes are becoming defined. Your baby-to-be looks less like an embryo (or an alien) and more like the baby in miniature that he is. He's getting bigger, too.

How Big Is Baby?

This week your little one is about one and one-quarter inches long and weighs in at .18 ounce.

How We Feel

10 weeks - We can officially tell the world our wonderful news. I am so excited and happy that everyone finally gets to share in our joy. I sent out an email to share the news with close friends and some family. I don't want to make any assumptions for Stacy and Mat - I don't know how hard it's going to be for them when we tell everyone. Unlike many open adoptions, Mat and Stacy are family so our announcement impacts them in a very real, personal way. I can only assume that they are okay with us being so excited to tell everyone, it was Stacy after all, who told me I could tell after 10 weeks and not wait for the first trimester to end.

Stacy has an ultrasound on October 25th, and has her appointment with the Obstetrician on November 6th and I can't wait to go with her. Clearly she didn't read my last post before inviting me along. I'm going to cry like a little girl with a skinned knee for sure.

Some things I'm Grateful For

It's Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada and it's gotten me to thinking about how grateful I am about so many things.

I am grateful for Mat and Stacy, of course for their decision to have us adopt their baby but I'm grateful to them for so many other reasons.

To Stacy I'm grateful to you

♥ for being so brave
♥ for being with Mat
♥ for letting me feel so comfortable around you
♥ for loving the little sweet pea enough to be healthy while you're pregnant
♥ for being excited about being a tummy mummy
♥ for being so selfless

To Mat I'm grateful to you

♥ for being so brave
♥ for maturing
♥ for your honesty
♥ for putting up with Stacy while she grows little sweet pea
♥ for being so selfless

To my wonderful husband I'm grateful to you

♥ for staying up late and listening to my fears
♥ for staying up even later and listening to me ramble about the nursery or baby names or whatever is on my mind in the moment
♥ for being my best friend
♥ for being in this adventure beside me
♥ for just being you

And to you all, I'm grateful for us all going on this amazing journey together. Sweet Pea will have much love in her life, and really in the immortal words of the Beatles...all we need is love...

....WOOOHOOO

I was talking to Stacy this afternoon and she said that the Doctor said it was fine to start telling people when we hit ten weeks............

psst - it's 10 weeks on Tuesday!!...That's in five sleeps....5 sleeps!!!

-insert visual of Jordanna moonwalking here-

I've decided to send out an email, or put something up on facebook to make the announcement and I wrote a little poem to send to everyone. Of course being the big dork that I am, I had to scrapbook it:

Feeling Peaceful

Stacy and I went out for dinner last night and had a great talk; it was actually the first time her and I have sat down together by ourselves and discussed the adoption and how we both feel. I'm so happy we did because I think we both feel better about everything. It's still a hard journey to take for everyone but I think we will come through it with an amazing friendship that will last for years to come. I think the baby will be blessed to be so wanted and have so many people who love it unconditionally.

We have only 20 days left until we can announce to the world that we're having a baby, and I can't wait. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm terrible with surprises and I am bursting at the seams to tell everyone. Other than immediate family and a couple close friends no one knows and I know they will be so happy for us. I have even been trying to convince myself that 10 weeks along is far enough, but no, I need to wait...sigh

Stacy has another doctor's appointment in two weeks and I think she'll get to hear the babies heart beat...I'm hoping she'll invite me along (wink wink, nudge nudge!) because I would love to hear it and think I will turn in to a crying fool in seconds do just fine and not embarrass Stacy in the least!

Week 9 Update

Interesting Facts:

Your baby is busy growing. Her face looks more baby-like each day—her eyes are developed but concealed, and her nose, lips, and ears are becoming more defined. She's also starting to exercise her expanding muscles. Her fingers and toes are looking less like stubs. Although she's a wiggler—and you could see that on an ultrasound—she's still so small that you won't feel these movements. Her reproductive organs are developing, but even if you sneaked a peek you wouldn't be able to tell that she's a she (and neither could your doctor at this point).

How Big Is Baby?

Your growing baby is about as big as a quarter this week.

How We Feel:

I can't believe another week has gone by. I am starting to realize how much I'm already falling in love with the baby. I have hopes and dreams for her and when I think about the future, the baby has become a big part of that. I feel like when Stacy and Mat called and said they were pregnant and they wanted us to adopt the baby, it was like finding out I myself was pregnant and so as we go along this journey I can't help but feel the way I do.

Stacy has been having a hard time dealing with everything and she doesn't know what she wants to do anymore. Though in my mind I knew this was a likely possibility, I guess my heart hoped she would still be as sure as she was the day she called and told me about the pregnancy. I understand her conflict, I already love the baby myself and it isn't even growing inside me.

I'm not sure how to proceed from here. All I want for this baby is for it to be loved and cared for and if it's by Dustin and I then that's amazing for us, and if Stacy decides to keep the baby that's great for her but leaves us devastated. How do I look at an ultrasound of the baby and not fall in love with it, how do I spend each day dreaming about our lives together when I now there is a probability that Stacy will keep the baby? I don't know how to go forward without getting so emotionally involved with a baby that might not end up my child.

Week 8 Update

Interesting Facts!

Your baby is no longer a mass of cells, but he's looking more and more like a miniature baby-to-be. Your baby's face is becoming more defined: eyelids have formed, his nose is beginning to protrude, and his upper lip is taking shape. Where there once were only stubs, fingers and toes are starting to develop from his arms and legs. His heart is beating quickly and strong inside his tiny body.

How Big Is Baby?

Your baby-to-be is now just over one half of an inch long. He's a little bigger than a dime.

How We Feel

Wow, 8 weeks already - time is already flying by. We're really starting to get used to the idea of becoming parents and as we get closer to the end of the first trimester we are getting excited about sharing our news with the world.

S has been feeling very tired with lots of nausea which is a good sign of a healthy pregnancy. She is heading to the medicentre today to get referred to an obstetrician. I am so appreciative of her for everything she is going through, I can only imagine what it must feel like to have something the size of a dime take over your whole body and control your life. The good news is that there are only 4 weeks left before things settle down for her.

For us on the other hand things will start getting crazier in a month. Once we hit the end of the first trimester we have a nursery to paint and furnish, a million baby accoutrement to buy, names to pick....not to mention finding a lawyer to help with all the paperwork and adoption counselling to arrange.

8 weeks and counting!

Week 7 Update

Interesting Facts:

Your baby-to-be has been busy this week. His brain is continuing to develop. The circulatory system becomes more complex as lungs begin to form. His face is taking shape with his eyes showing some pigmentation, visible ear holes, minuscule nostrils, and an indentation where his mouth will appear. His digestive system and stomach are starting to form. His arms and legs are growing, but his fingers and toes have not yet developed.

How Big Is Baby?

This week, Baby is about the size of a pencil eraser!

How We Feel:

It's been a tough few days. I realize that at any time M and S could decide to keep the baby, it's their right as biological parents and I'm sure it's a near impossible decision to make. I know that if they decide to keep the baby I will be heart broken and devastated because as the baby grows so do my hopes and dreams for our future together. Having them ask us if we'd like to adopt the baby felt the same to me as if I had seen two pink lines on a stick myself. I am overjoyed, nervous, excited, and planning for the future just as I would if I were pregnant myself. (Luckily though it's Stacy that gets to deal with the hormones, morning sickness, and cravings....thanks Stacy!).

There are still 5 weeks to go before we can announce our news to the world. It's near impossible to keep it a secret. I'm so excited I want to tell every random stranger I encounter never mind the people that are dearest to me. I'm hoping the next few weeks go by quickly and smoothly and we can get in to the second trimester and really start to move forward with the nursery and all the preparation it takes to get ready for baby.

We've been doing some planning and we've decided to save all my pay cheques, because once the baby comes I won't have an income and we'll have to get used to living off of D's. I've been making a budget and looking around at the costs of everything. A stroller with an infant car seat attached is close to $400 and a crib set with a change table and dresser is going to be about $1500. That's before we even feed the baby or send her to college! I read somewhere that by the time a child is ready for college they will have already cost about $500,000 to raise....D, I think you need a raise!

Anyway that's it from us. 7 Weeks and counting....

Week 6 Update

Interesting Fact:

This week your baby-to-be's brain begins to take shape. Her head becomes more distinct with tiny spots appearing that mark the places where her eyes will form. Spots for her ears also become visible. Buds that will later become arms and legs begin. And for the first time your baby's heart beats. Within her growing midsection, what will become her lungs, liver, and other organs are forming.

How Big Is Baby?
Your growing baby this week is now the size of a pea.

How We Feel:

Wow, where to even begin. We are so excited - elated even. I can't believe we still have 6 weeks to go before we can start telling the world our exciting news. We have started talking names and we really like the idea of honouring M and S in the babies name somehow. We're thinking of using Mattea as the babies middle name for a girl, and Stacy if it's a boy. We also like the idea of combining their names and using Macy as a first name if the baby is a girl - which the Chinese astrology charts predict it is.

S and I went to her doctors appointment and they have referred us to the Diabetes clinic at the Royal Alex. Hopefully the doctor there will refer us to an obstetrician and do the pre-natal blood work I was expecting her family doctor to do. No word yet on when she'll have the appointment.

I think I'm going to ask S and M to email me a little weekly update (if they're interested) on how they're feeling and I can include that in my weekly updates as well.

And that's it for this week in baby news.

Oh and I've posted a link of some of the baby names we like on the right hand side of the blog. Go vote for your favorites....but don't be sad if we don't like your answers and do what we want anyway! We will update it here and there as we find names we agree upon.

Sunday Update

After some discussion we decided that it would be best to tell my dad - rather than spring it on him in a card. My mum told him a couple of nights ago - we volunteered her to do the dirty work. I spoke to him on the phone yesterday and he's excited about it but has his concerns, as all parents inevitably do. Now, our parents all know and I've told one close friend - so that I have someone to talk to about all of this...it's just to exciting to hold inside.

Unfortunately S's mum is not happy about the choice they've made and it makes me sad for S because I think this is a huge decision to make and having her mum's support would be so great for her. Thankfully her dad is on board and hopefully she knows that we are all here for her if she needs to talk or even just a hug!

D and I have been busy little bees this weekend. We, being the total yuppies that we are, each had our own spare room in the house. D's was a video game/computer room and mine was a craft room. We had been talking for some time about combining the two rooms into one, and creating a guest room - or my idea, a giant closet....but a nursery sounds like the perfect way to use that room! We spent the entire weekend clearing out the room that will become the nursery, downsizing our stuff and combining our two "hobby" rooms in to one.

We went out and purchased What to Expect When You're Expecting for S because I'm hoping she'll find it informative - it's a big book so I'm pretty sure it has the answers to many of the questions she might have. I am also giving her my copy of The Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy which is a very funny and insightful book about being pregnant. I know I laughed out loud on a few occassions reading that one. For ourselves D and I got the What to Expect in the First Year book which scarily enough is even bigger, but has a section on adoption and everything! I'd better start reading it now, with 800 pages to memorize and 8 months to go - I'm gonna need to average 100 pages of pure information download a month!

That's it from here - it's time to hurry up and wait :)

Surprise!

It's my dad's 60th birthday this weekend and we haven't told him about the baby yet. He's been busy working and no one has really seen him much since we've all made our life changing plan. My mum thinks it would be a great idea to surprise him on his birthday with the news about the baby. Dustin and I have some reservations because I think it will be an awfully big surprise to say "M and S are pregnant - but we're going to adopt the baby - Happy Birthday!"

He's turning 60...isn't that a heart attack waiting to happen?

I tried to write him a poem to write inside a birthday card, though I'm still not quite convinced it's the best way to tell the old guy the crazy news?

Here's the poem:

Happy Birthday Grandpa,
We saved the best for last.
And Although I'm not quite here yet,
The time will go by fast.

But Grandpa that's not all,
There's something you should know.
I'm going to live with one mum,
But in another one I'll grow.

You see grandpa it's kinda tricky,
Stacy's growing me in her tummy.
But they've asked Jordanna and Dusty,
To be my daddy and mummy.

So Happy Birthday Grandpa,
Enjoy your special day.
Sorry I couldn't be there,
But I have to stay here till May.

There are no words

Dear Mat & Stacy,

I want to write you a letter, because there is so much to say and I don't think the words will ever come out right if I just blurt it all out. First off and most importantly, thank you for such an amazing gift. Just the thought of you both trusting us and loving us enough to entrust us with your baby brings me to tears.

Dustin and I were at a point of giving up hope for a baby. We were silently coming to terms with our dreams of a family slipping away. In an instant you changed all of that for us and we are so grateful that I don't even have the words to thank you enough.

We believe that a baby needs to be surrounded with love; we believe that in order to know where you’re going you need to know where you came from and we think it’s wonderful that this baby is going to have two sets of parents from the very beginning. When our child is old enough to understand they will know that you are their tummy mummy and daddy and the fact that we can all share in this is an incredible & wonderful experience.

The joy we have about this is all consuming and you will never know how grateful and indebted we feel to you both for what you are doing for our family, with that all we can say is thank you and that doesn't even begin to describe how we feel.

Much Love

Jordanna and Dustin xoxo

The Beginning

For as long as we have been together we've wanted a baby. After 3 years of trying we gave up. We've spent the last year convincing ourselves that we're fine, we're happy to be yuppies, we don't need a baby, but the minute we found out they were giving us their baby, all of our convictions about being fine were washed away with my tears of happiness.

Perhaps I should go back a bit. I'm Jordanna & I'm married to the most wonderful man in the world - Dustin. We've been together since 2002 and we couldn't be happier together, except for wanting to complete our family by having a baby. For three years we tried, and tried, and took fertility drugs and tried some more and after peeing on 100's of magic wands, not once did we see the positive sign....not once were we blessed with a baby.

We had looked in to adoption and decided that it is something we would definitely like to pursue, but unfortunately don't have $8 - 10,000 laying around to start the process. I guess babies are on the back burner for us for at least a couple more years. We're only 30, we still have time....right?

Yesterday our entire lives changed, our world was flipped upside down and the yuppie lifestyle we had become accustomed to flew out the window. My brother Mathew told me that his fiancee is pregnant and they were wondering if we would like to adopt the baby! After wondering if I had fallen asleep at work again and realizing I was in fact wide awake, I pulled myself together, burst in to tears and said of course.

Now, Stacy is only a few weeks along, and we have Type 1 Diabetes to be concerned about but she is definitely pregnant and they definitely want us to adopt their baby. We're keeping everything on the down low for now, at least until the end of her first trimester. I feel like I have a balloon inside me that is filling up with excitement and I know it's going to pop soon so hopefully I can hold my excitement inside until the time is right to tell friends and family.

And so begins our journey to parenthood.